Coping with Death

Why is it that when someone dies, some people seem more worried about who gets what than that a person they're closely associated with is no longer around?  Do these people who are acting that way really not care about the person they've just lost, or is this simply a coping mechanism?  Either way, do they just not realise how entirely disrespectful it is?

My fiance's grandfather passed away on New Years Day.  He's been ill for a while, so I guess his children have had time to come to terms with it.  Still, that doesn't excuse the actions of one of them in my opinion.  Before the funeral home had even come to take him away, his son was walking around the house deciding what he would take and/or give to his children.  He stayed in the house that night saying he didn't want to leave it empty with everything still inside, and when my fiance's mother went in the next day, she found most of the valuables removed from the house.  In the last couple of days, there has been arguments over everything from funeral arrangements, announcements and burial clothes to inheritances.

Dealing with death is difficult enough, especially when you are as close to the person as my fiance was to his grandfather.  Luckily, we live a couple of hours away from the rest of the family, so we aren't there for most of the confrontations, but since his grandfather passed, my fiance's mother has called him several times a day distraught over more family arguments.  To make it worse, his estranged brother is trying to get involved in arrangements and inheritances, and although his brother's final wishes were a private mourning period and goodbye (as he didn't want a formal funeral), his brother is intent on telling everyone in town and inviting them to a service which he currently is not aware of when it is occurring. 

He arrived at his brother's house shortly after hearing of his passing, sweeping through making grand comments and dismissing his brother's requests as nothing, before heading out and proceeding to spread the news.  To make matters worse, he keeps telling everyone who will listen that he is now the head of a family who needs severe guidance from him.  At this point, I feel compelled to point out that he has recently left his wife to be with a mistress he flaunts around town, but refuses to move out of the house they shared even though it belongs to her and their son who is her carer.

Is there no flag in their brains to indicate to these people that perhaps their behaviour is not appropriate?  Are they ignorant of how their behaviour appears, or do they just not care?  And if this is their way of coping, does that make it any more acceptable?  Something to ponder.