Naomi's Inner Dialogue

Why are we so quick to cut?

2009-02-23T00:29:00.004+10:00

Shortly before my last post, I developed a hard, painful lump on my left wrist which steadfastly refused to disappear of it's own accord. After a few days of pain, growth and general discomfort, I became concerned that I had done something terribly wrong to my wrist, and went to see a doctor. He decided it was most likely a ganglion cyst, which is a mostly harmless, fluid-filled sac usually attached to joint tissue. Just to make sure, he arranged for me to have an ultrasound and told me to come back the following week. I won't bore you with the inadequacies of the health system I experienced in following these simple instructions, as anyone who has had to use it lately is already well aware of the problems I faced. Let's just say that I eventually got my ultrasound and returned for verification of the diagnosis. He mentioned there was a couple of options for treatment, but I would have to go to a specialist hand clinic in the hospital for which he sent up a referral.

Now, as I mentioned in one of my earlier posts (it may even have been my first one), I'm the kind of person who is insanely curious about most things I come across, and for this reason I have quite a love affair with google. So, of course, I googled my diagnosis. I must state here that while I do not recommend using google to diagnose yourself with medical conditions, choose home treatments, etc etc, I do think it is a wonderfully useful tool for better understanding something professionally diagnosed, especially as the health profession these days doesn't really lend itself to answering a multitude of patient questions. Of course I was quite interested in the types of treatment available, and found lots of studies and articles about each of them. To summarise, the options are surgical removal (80% effective in the first instance), aspiration with a needle (various rates of success), and the old-fashioned 'bash it with a heavy book and burst it' treatment (the merits of which are heavily debated). Having thoroughly researched all of these options, I determined that the middle option was best for me, and after my ultrasound went back to the doctors.

This new doctor confirmed that it was indeed a ganglion cyst, and then told me that I would need to be put on the surgical waiting list. When I informed her that I did not wish to have surgery, she acted as though the idea of other treatment was ludicrous. Now, the waiting list for this type of surgery is upwards of one year on the public health system (I'm not in a position to go private at the moment, as my insurance for some reason seems to cover everything but what I actually need). When I protest that it is causing me pain and numbness in my hand, she dismisses it as unlikely that I am actually experiencing this (?!!) and when I say that I don't care that if aspirated it is 50% likely to reoccur (by which time I assume I might be closer to the top of the surgical waiting list anyway) as long as I don't have it for the next year, she tells me that they can't just stick a needle in it that close to nerves and blood vessels and it's safer to have surgery (wtf???). My research has confirmed that reoccurrence when aspirated is highly likely, but studies in the last decade have shown that if cortisone is injected after aspiration, reoccurrence is significantly reduced, so I'm very confused by this attitude.

When I sat down and really thought about it, I started to wonder why people are so inclined to cut stuff away. The second something goes 'bad', we cut it. Cancerous moles or tumours are one thing, but a benign cyst that can be drained? Do we really need to go as far as surgery, and just cut it out? It doesn't stop at medicine. If we've got a sick looking plant in the garden, we pull it out, or chop off half of it's leaves. Sometimes, this is the right thing to do, but other times, like with my new tomato plant, all it needs is a good water. At work, we're cruising along and then suddenly a person or project comes along that we don't like, and we suddenly start thinking that we should find another job when all we really need is a holiday, or a new way to deal with the situation. You only have to look at the skyrocketing divorce rate to see that when the going gets tough, most couples get going - to court. Maybe where they should really be going is counselling. In our grandparents' generation, if something bad happened, you dealt with it and moved on, but these days, we cut it out, leave it by the wayside and run. Is this really the best way of managing our problems?

Just this week, I received my first contact from the hand clinic - a letter advising me that their was going to be a long wait for an appoinment, as my condition was classed as non-critical. I wasn't fazed in the least, mostly because my cyst currently is not there. I decided that I would deal with my problem the old-fashioned way, that is I put a cushion on the desk under my wrist and hit the cyst with the spine of the final Harry Potter book. I can only be thankful that no-one was around to witness the comic triumph of initial bravery over last-second attempts to stop the downwards motion of the book, which only managed to reduce impact. The cyst immediately went down, and although the spot where it was ached for a couple of days, all was back to normal very quickly and the book was thankfully unharmed. No cutting required, just carefully-considered use of alternative methods. I am feeling much better without the help of our overzealous health system - all thanks to JK Rowling.

Quarter-Life Crisis?

2009-01-22T22:23:00.002+10:00

In the year most of my group of friends turned 20, one of my male (very metrosexual) friends, rather than being excited was quite despondent about leaving his teen years. He loudly bemoaned to all his friends that he was, shock horror, half way to forty. I laughed at the time and in fact ever since on his birthday have reminded him that he's half way to some horrible age. This friend's birthday is in January, whereas mine is in December, so every year it goes from being a joke about him to a cruel reality for me. For the first couple of years of this, each year on my birthday I brushed it aside, but the older I got, the more it started to actually hit home that I was indeed halfway to, well, the half way point of my life (if I'm lucky enough to make it to 100 that is). It wasn't until my 24th birthday that it hit home - I was officially mid-20's, and the following year would hit 25, the magical quarter-life year. It was this that sowed the seed of my quarter-life crisis, which took root and grew like crazy in the fertile soil of my insecure thoughts leading up to my 25th birthday last year. It was somewhere in the middle of the time between my 24th and 25th birthday that I first heard the term 'quarter-life crisis'. At the time of hearing the phrase, I thought what most people probably think - "nonsense!". But in the weeks leading up to my birthday, I found myself in the middle of a very real life crisis.

Type the words quarter life crisis into google, and the first page is a wikipedia entry, so straight away you know this is a popular phenomenon. The page tells us that a quarter-life crisis (QLC) describes the period of life following the major changes of adolescence, typically the years between 20 and 30, and is widely recognised among professional psychologists as a rising issue for young people. The page lists 16 emotional symptoms typifying the crisis, and reading through them was like reading a summary of the diary I never got around to keeping. Wikipedia also explains to me that this is partly caused by the changing financial and professional roles typically experienced in this period of a person's life. As for how to deal with this, Wikipedia is strangely quiet - a couple of books are recommended reading, but that's about it. The second entry is a website, www.quarterlifecrisis.com. Ok, if Wikipedia and my dread about my upcoming birthday hadn't convinced me, the fact that it's a domain name... well, now it definitely exists. This website tells me that the term was coined by a woman called Abby Wilner in 1997 after she graduated and felt unsure about what to do with her life. Apparently for her the answer was to write a couple of books to help others deal with her phenomenon, not, as one would expect, to find a job in the field she had spent several years studying (although the site doesn't mention what she studied, so perhaps she did indeed study new psychological phenomenon). Unfortunately, the site seems to be more about marketing the books, with the odd forum for QLC'ers to talk about their problems. No help there. The rest of the search results don't help much either.

So, there I was, about to turn 25 and feeling less than enthusiastic about it. There's a commonly held assumption that those experiencing a mid-life crisis generally will do something drastic such as change career, take a sea- or tree-change, buy a sportscar, or leave their partner for someone half their age. It doesn't really translate into a QLC. I'm just starting out in my career and love it, although I do wish I could advance faster (apparently a symptom of the QLC). Having lived both in a smaller town and on the coast, before the city I'm in now, I'm happy to stay here for a while - I would love to move back to the coast, but career-wise there's nothing there for me until I advance, and really it's only an hour's drive away anyway. I can't afford a sportscar or the insurance, and to be honest am very fond of my little barina with pink seatcovers anyway and would be way to nervous driving something expensive. As for dating someone half my age, that's just wrong at any age really let alone 25, and I'm already dating a younger man (albeit only a year) who I am very happy with. So, no help there. What's a girl to do to get over this?

Well, for me it's little things that help. On my 25th birthday, since my partner had to work and I was at home, I decided to go out and treat myself to waffles for brunch. I had looked in the mirror that morning and thought I'd never looked so old, wishing wistfully for the days of 21 when I was 5 kilos lighter and didn't have the beginnings of lines around my eyes and thought I needed a pick-me-up. While I was out, I dropped in to the bottle shop to buy some mini alcohol bottles for the christmas hampers I was putting together and the shop assistant asked me for ID. It was the best present I got all day. I've been having trouble finding a new job and have visited a stack of recruitment agencies, and while waiting at one I ended up in a discussion with two other job-seekers. As I have alot of recruitment experience myself, I found myself giving advice to these two ladies, and one of them said to me "I'm so confused as to why you're looking for work, it sounds like you've got so much great experience and really know what you're doing!" When I missed out on a job I wanted, my boyfriend told me "They're not good enough for you anyway". I feel out of touch with friends since I moved away, so I spend time on facebook checking their statuses and photos, and sending them virtual gifts. Every time I feel envious of someone else, like the friend who owns a house with her long-term partner and is a stay-at-home mum with a wonderful, wonderful son, or the friend who is organising her wedding and has just bought a house with her fiance, I am surprised by their envy of something simple I have that they don't, like a career that I love, a quiet weekend at home, or the ability to buy myself something without worrying that I should save the money for the wedding dinner or schoolbooks.

We were brought up in a world where we were told we could have it all, at once, and we could have it now. We are also brought up with the notion that we should live each day to it's fullest potential and get as much out of life as possible, as we never know if this day could be our last. But when we talk about wanting it all, or about this feeling we have as we leave adolescence behind, we're told a conflicting message - 'you have plenty of time. You're only young'. Perhaps this conflict is part of the cause of this rising phenomenon.

The world didn't end when I turned 25, and there was no earth (or mirror) shattering but I've been 25 for a month and a half now, and I feel slightly better. I've decided to take it one day at a time, enjoy the little things in life, and a bunch of other cliches. I'm feng shui-ing my house as well, which is really helping me clarify where I've come from, where I want to go, and what it is that I really want out of this life (more on the whole feng shui thing another time) as well as focus on the positive things I have. Most importantly, I've given myself permission to feel old, and all those other feelings that come along with a QLC even though some (older) people might tell me I'm still young and think that it's complete nonsense. As far as I'm concerned, it's perfectly normal to feel that you're getting old at any age, for one simple reason. When I gave my ID to the lady at the bottleshop on my 25th birthday, I told her that she had made my birthday as I was feeling a bit depressed about ageing, and she was one of those aforementioned older people who told me I was still young while giving me one of those looks I'm sure we've all experienced while hearing the same thing. So I looked at her and said "Well, I'm sure 25 won't seem so old when I'm in my forties, but for now it's the oldest I've ever been and it's going to take some getting used to!"

Lucky Dip Buses

2008-11-20T11:15:00.002+10:00

Anyone who's ever taken a Brisbane bus can verify that it's like playing lucky dip. If you want to get from one location to another, you can find several buses that travel between the two locations that all leave within 15 minutes of each other, but how do you work out which bus is quicker and will take you the closest to your destination? Let me tell you a story that illustrates this.

I work near Mount Gravatt, and last Monday I had a dentists appointment in the Queen St Mall. Rather than trying to drive in during the storms and find a park somewhere close by, I figured it would be quicker and easier to take a bus, as they would travel up the busway thereby avoiding the traffic, and deposit me right at the mall. I was so, so wrong!

Before I left work, I looked up the transinfo website to determine the best bus and bus stop to use, and although confusing I struggled through and found what I thought was a workable plan. Now, according to the website there are two bus stops at Garden City shopping centre - an upper and lower one. However, the Garden City centre map shows only the upper level bus stop. The buses that stop at the lower level were the quickest, and I knew that there was a bus stop out the front of garden city on logan rd, so thought that might be the lower level one - wrong again. I parked near the bus stop and ran over to see if it was indeed the stop number listed on the map. It wasn't but while I was waiting, a City bus pulled up. I asked the driver if it was the best bus to take to the city and with his reassurance, jumped on, purchased a ticket and settled back for a relaxing ride.

All was fine until I realised that I had been on the bus for almost half an hour and we were still driving around Greenslopes and hadn't ventured anywhere near the busway. With only 15 minutes until my dentist appointment, I started to get agitated. By the time we got to Southbank, my appointment time had passed, I was feeling ill and after spending an hour on the bus, I desparately needed to go to the bathroom. I ran off the bus and over to the train station to use the amenities, and then hopped on the next train to the city. I arrived at my dentist appointment half an hour late, but luckily they were running later (maybe they had also caught a bus to the city).

After my appointment (and a quick lunch) I went to a bus stop to find a bus back to work. But it's not as simple as going to any inner city bus stop - I had to walk down a long stretch of adelaide st looking for a bus stop where a south-bound bus might stop at mount gravatt. For some reason, instead of one bus stop which all buses can stop at, there is several different stops for several different routes. This is particularly confusing for those who don't travel on buses every day. I've been known to get off the bus several stops early with the fear that this is the only stop in the city the particular bus I'm on might stop at, because there's no way to know for sure. Anyway, I eventually found a bus that got me back after another harrowing 1-hour journey. My supposed hour and a half absence from work turned into half a day thanks to the wonderful Brisbane public transport system.

I lost lucky dip that day, but it left me thinking, surely I'm not the only one who comes across this confusion while trying to use the public transport system. I'm not exactly unintelligent, and managed to negotiate the Gold Coast's bus system quite easily while living there so forgive me for thinking the problem lies with the bus company. Perhaps they need to look at their information systems with the objective eye of someone who has never caught a Brisbane bus, instead of assuming everyone has their intricate knowledge of bus stops.

I, for one, have decided to avoid playing lucky dips in future, and will forgo the extra couple of parking dollars for the sake of efficiency and calmness. These days, it's a safer investment than the share market (or a savings account).

Oh, by the way, sorry for the gap between posts again... This one's been trying to find it's way to the internet via public transport.

Tents or Houses?

2008-09-19T16:35:00.003+10:00

Recently, I was told that I have a problem with establishing good relationships quickly. I wasn't surprised by this, but rather confused. Is it really possible to establish a good solid relationship quickly to begin with? You see, in my view, relationships are a bit like tents and houses. If you need shelter, either will work. But there's huge differences in the shelter they give you.

A house takes time to build up. You need solid foundations - pillars, cement slab, all those sorts of things (hey, I'm not exactly into construction). Then you build a strong frame to hold up your walls and roof. You surround the frame with bricks and mortar, carefully mixed and laid to make sure the outside is strong and the inside is protected. The roof goes on, and you've got shelter. Then you add all those finishing touches that make it a home - the inside walls, paint & carpet, fittings & fixtures, kitchens & bathrooms etc. The house is finished, but you will forever add things or change things to make it a home -it constantly evolves.

A tent goes up in half an hour (if you're good at that sort of thing - if not, it goes up well after dark) on any patch of ground that's big enough. You use a couple of flimsy pegs to keep it anchored, some bendy poles to keep it standing and a few pieces of fabric between you and the elements, and you've got shelter. You throw some old bedding in there and an esky with a bit of food in it, and huddle inside.

Either way, you've got shelter, and the tent is much quicker. But a few strong gusts of wind, or some heavy rain, and your tent is dripping, bending sideways, and you're vainly trying to hold it up while staying warm and dry. In the house, the gust of wind doesn't even move it, the rain runs off, and you are happily warm and dry watching old Grey's Anatomy episodes. You have shelter for years, use a tent on holidays, and can't wait to get back to your home when the camping trip is over. Clearly, it's the house that's better and stronger long-term.

So, what would happen if you tried to build a house in half an hour? You wouldn't have time to worry about checking foundations, making sure the frame is solid enough to bear the weight of the roof, or carefully laying the bricks. Not only that, you'd defnitely have no time to waterproof the roof, put up plasterboard walls or fit some lovely fixtures and fittings that might provide a few comforts. The floor would start cracking and shifting after a short time, the walls would crumble and deteriorate, and the roof would start leaking. A strong gust of wind would send draughts through the house leaving you shivering, and rain on the leaking roof would soak you and cause more damage to the house. You'd be too busy patching up the dodgy build to add on those extra little bits that make it more comfortable, and within a year, the house would fall apart around you, leaving you wishing that you'd spent more time building up those foundations. If you had, you might have known the soil could shift and have built the house accordingly.

Real, good, strong relationships are built up over time on foundations of mutual trust and respect, on a frame of communication, protected by truth and honesty, sheltered by love, caring and understanding and strengthened from the inside by shared experience. There's no point trying to convince ourselves that we can turn a tent into a house. Nothing is wrong with having tents of course, but you wouldn't want to live in one forever.

To the person who said that to me (even though you'll probably never read this), I'm not worried that I don't have a lot of tents or crumbling houses, because I already have a couple of strong, solid houses and I'm slowly building a couple more, and who could ask for more than several solid houses?

Customer Service Tips

2008-09-15T18:50:00.003+10:00

A few years ago, in my murky past as a customer service officer, I got sick of being abused by customers who complained that they could never get good customer service. As someone in the customer service industry, I often managed to get excellent customer service myself, and wondered why these people thought it was so difficult, when the real problem was getting good customers. One day, I had enough of all the complaining and compiled a list of tips for getting good customer service. I never did anything with it, but on the weekend I stumbled across it and thought 'Maybe I should put that on my blog'. It's a cross between slightly ironic, slightly bitter and slightly helpful, so I thought I'd post it here now to share with the wider world, in the hopes of helping customers find good service, and customer service people find good customers (or at the very least, a bit of a laugh). Enjoy.

It’s not news that people often complain it’s hard to find good customer service. But what might be news to most people who don’t work in the customer service industry is that it’s even harder to find good customers. Now, before you get in an uproar, consider this. Every single person who works in the customer service industry is a customer themselves. Because of this, we know how to get the service we want and deserve. How? Well, for the first time, here are some tips, not from some expert who sits in a room studying papers or god knows what else these so-called consumer experts do. Right from the horses mouth – someone who actually gives you this service.

Tip #1 – Be nice, or at least be calm
We know you’re upset if something has gone wrong or you don’t understand something. We understand that sometimes you feel as if you have been hard done by in some way. But it is a well known, well discussed common habit in every call centre I’ve ever worked in or heard of that we go the extra mile for people who deserve it. No one likes rudeness, and just because we are on the other end of a phone doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to throw verbal abuse at us. That only makes us want to get you off the phone quicker, and we will do the bare minimum to help you, not to mention mirror your attitude. But the nice people, who state their problem clearly and calmly and know how to show their displeasure without abuse, evoke empathy for their situation and get a better result.

Tip #2 – Be Reasonable
Every call we take is a problem in need of a solution. But we are limited in the solutions available to us. If a customer service agent has listened to your clearly stated problem and shows understanding, we know the solutions available. Remember, you are not the only person in the world with this problem. We have probably heard this before and know where we, you and the company stand. We know what is possible and what is not. Trust me on this, if we have stated we have booked the soonest possible appointment, it is the soonest possible appointment. If we have given you the maximum possible refund, it is the maximum possible refund. You wouldn’t expect a flight from Townsville to Perth to only take half an hour because it’s convenient, it’s just not possible. The same goes for everything else. Some things are just not possible. We have nothing to gain from not doing the best we can to help you. Read – Nada, Zilch, Zero!!!

Tip #3 – Listen carefully to everything we are trying to tell you
Seriously, the amount of times I have gotten halfway through a sentence, been interrupted with screaming, had to wait it out and then continue with “as I was trying to explain”. Some simple things to understand: There is no way to remove a charge from a bill that hasn’t been created yet. We cannot resend something that we have not received back yet. We cannot make delivery companies work faster. Things aren’t always as simple as flicking a switch. Everyone else has problems and wants things done right away too, that’s why everybody has to wait their turn, just like you do at the supermarkets, the fast food joint, the bank. If you ask what the problem is, we are only too happy to explain it, but you definitely will not get the full story if you jump in half way. A prime example? If you only read half of Pride & Prejudice, you’d never know Elizabeth does marry Mr. Darcy.

Tip #4 – Remember, you can’t help someone who won’t help themselves
Sometimes there are simple things you can do yourself that will improve your circumstances - changing a plan on line, working out the value of something, calling a third party for clarification, filling out a form that contains more details. Yes, we understand that this can be an inconvenience for you, and yes we understand that sometimes this is caused by our error, but the more you are willing to help sort out the problem, the quicker, easier and sooner we can help you sort it out. Accept the unchangeable, or as some would put it, realize that if you’re not part of the solution then you must be part of the problem.

Tip #5 – Accept our apologies
Think this is a weird one? Maybe, but many, many times I have had to apologize for a customer previously being told the wrong thing, or the wrong change being made (we all know the list goes on) only to have the customer say “Well that’s not good enough”. Remember, we don’t have to apologize. In some industries, we actually put ourselves at risk by doing so. But our apology demonstrates empathy for your situation, expresses our regret at the inconvenience caused, and means that we are trying to work out the best way to help you. Just say thank you and help us reach a mutually acceptable solution.

Tip #6 – Accept that we know more about this than you do
That is why we work here and you don’t. We have trained in some cases for months to understand the products, processes and policies so that we can deal expertly with your enquiries. Understandably, some people are better at this than others. By the time we get on the phone to you, we are experts.

Tip #7 – We are aware of the problems that exist in our organization
Yes, really, we are. Most people in call centres take anywhere from 40 to 200 calls in a day. When you think about it, that’s a lot of opportunities to identify common problems. That is why we are happy to apologise and remedy the problem. We know that some areas (we call them sales) often are not completely clear, or do not tell you everything. We are happy to fully explain anything that you ask us to. Really.

Tip #8 – Nothing is perfect
Not you, not us. Enough said.

Tip #9 – Have an angle, know what you want and be prepared to negotiate
If you call in a rage simply demanding we fix this, do that etc, you’re clearly not going to get what you want. Think over it carefully, be able to justify or provide clear, concise reasons and ideas. We may not be able to give you exactly what you want, but most of us have other things we can provide to reduce inconvenience. If your broadband has been accidentally disconnected, we can’t get it up and running immediately, but we can give you free temporary dial up access. We may not be able to give you a 10% discount on insurance but we may be able to give you a free optional extra. We may not be able to get someone out to your house today, but we may be able to do it for free when we would usually charge. If we are part or all of the problem, we will have some room to move when negotiating solutions but that doesn’t mean we can give you exactly what you want.

Tip #10 – Make sure you have your facts straight and are looking at the whole picture
Before you call up saying we have overcharged you, check some simple things like the billed from and to dates and the bill components, not just the total outstanding. Check the bill issued date if it shows an amount outstanding you think you’ve paid. Read the whole documents before you call to tell us some information is wrong. Think carefully about wether or not we have sent you an email or letter you discarded without reading properly before asking us why we did not advise you of changes. We are happy to confirm all these things, but please be fair. Generally we have made the effort to do the right thing by you, and if it is clear we have done the wrong thing we are happy to fix it.

Of course, there are other things you can do to improve your customer service, but being nice, clear, rational, prepared and receptive are all going to help. Remember, if you act like you expect bad customer service, that is more than likely what you are going to get. Yes, all companies want to keep customers rather than lose them, but who in their right mind would want to maintain a relationship with someone who is abusive, irrational, threatening and all too quick to jump to the wrong conclusion. Not you? I thought so.

Anyway, I hope this helps, so next time you’re talking to a customer service agent, try these. You never know what you might get.

Changes

2008-09-09T17:24:00.002+10:00

Hello!

If there's anyone still paying attention to my blog, you'll notice that there's been some changes recently, with posts going missing and being changed. I've set up a new blog specifcally relating to career problems, so have moved relevant posts to the new blog and deleted posts that are simply boring. The careers blog is at www.mycareerhelp.blogspot.com.

I'm going to be making a determined effort to keep both blogs up-to-date, and to revamp this one so that it's worth coming back to. I'll be spending some time shortly cleaning up my old posts and putting some new stuff up for you to laugh or roll your eyes at.

As always, any comments, questions or enquiries are most welcome. Thanks for visiting!
Cheers,
Naomi

About Time!

2008-05-06T16:21:00.006+10:00

This weekend, after 7 long years of on and off studying, illness, and deferring, I graduated from University with an Advanced Diploma of Business. I actually finished the final subject last year, and had to wait until Saturday for my certificate. So it was with a great sense of acheivement that I headed up to Toowoomba for the ceremony.

Since my wonderful partner was feeling rather ill, we decided to make it a day trip only. After a two-hour drive, we stopped for lunch and went to pick up a friend who was coming along to witness the pomp and ceremony. Although it wasn't due to start until 2.30, I had to pick up the academic dress at 1.oo so that I had time to take photos and be directed to my allocated seat. In reality, I actually spent this hour and a half bouncing around in the wind and being the subject of laughter by my partner, friend and her four-year old, mainly because I looked like something out of a Harry Potter film (albeit with a flatter hat). I declared several times that I was actually 'Super Graduate - flying faster than a speeding bullet', but gave this up once I checked out the photos on the digital camera. My partner gently reminded me that taking five years to complete what should have been a 1 1/2 year course didn't exactly lend itself to a speeding bullet reputation.

Since I'm a huge fan of Harry Potter, and not so much of superman, I changed to ill-timed 'Wingardium Levi-o-sa's' instead. Probably the graduates around me were wondering why an idiot like me ended up at a serious occasion for the celebration of academic acheivements, but it was my long-awaited and hard-worked for graduation too, and I was determined to enjoy it. To be honest, I had almost said to hell with it, just post me the thing, but I figured five years of study was worth having a hall full of people cheer for me. The $66 i paid to hire academic dress was nothing compared to the school fees, so I went for it. My mum was excited about it anyway. She works at the uni (in food services) and had been proudly telling anyone who would listen that she would need that day off because her daughter was graduating, ever since I told her I'd passed my final subject. I'm the first person (apart from my aunt who's a few years older) to attend university, and the first to actually complete something, so I wasn't about to deny her the opportunity to have photos of me all dressed up displayed on her mantlepiece. I did falter a bit at the prospect of a 2-hour ceremony with 400 graduates to get through.

I was the second-last person in the entire ceremony, and had only one other graduate (the last) seated in my row, so it was lucky for us that we both had a wicked sense of humour. An Advanced Diploma is the lowest award a university hands out, so we had to sit through the doctorates, masters, and bachelors before it was our turn. Sometimes we had to make up our own jokes, and other times the graduate names provided our entertainment (who calls their kid Wai Ping Cok?) Thankfully, these are all listed in the program for me to fondly reminisce about in years to come. Although some of the other graduates looked at us like the naughty kids in class who just scraped through, I doubt we were the worst of the day. One example that comes immediately to mind is a lady two rows behind us, who at the first outburst of clapping for a graduate, loudly proclaimed "Is that because they know that person, or just because it's the first Aussie name they've called out so far?" To their credit, the row of Asian students in front of us stared stoicly ahead, and I applaud them. I couldn't help letting out a burst of laughter, forever cementing my place as the naughty student.

Finally my turn came, I walked across the stage, had my photo taken with some important academic who handed out the diplomas, and waved to my family as they cheered me off the stage. I proudly sang the national anthem when it played, and ate some of the afternoon tea goodies (profiteroles and cake, yum). When it was all over, I came home officially a graduate, proud of my monogrammed and embossed piece of paper. So how did it feel?

Quite frankly, like I'd just paid $14,066 for a piece of paper. For me, the real sense of acheivement came when I got my grades six months ago. My reward wasn't being dressed up like a Harry Potter extra, parading across a stage and being patted on the back. It was knowing that finally, I had grown up enough and worked hard enough to deserve to be proud of myself. To all of my family, friends, and especially my partner who supported me through no matter what, the ceremony was for you!

Super Graduate!

A New Job

2008-04-22T17:36:00.003+10:00

So, on Friday I started a new temp assignment in the HR Department of a local private hospital. The recruitment consultant told me that they were ok with me looking for a more permanent position and taking time off for interviews, as long as I gave them around a week's notice if I found something else, which is pretty cool of them. She also told me that it was a HR Coordinator's role which they needed filled while they recruited for the permanent position, because the person previously in the position had been promoted, so there was an opportunity for it to turn permanent if I was interested. Sounds pretty cool, right. So, here's how my three days of working for them went.

Friday, I arrive and meet the person currently in the role, who will be training me. I say 'training' in the loosest sense of the word, because it was loosely training. It seems she had been in the role for 6 weeks on a temp basis, and was now moving to another role - in another organisation. Strike one for my agency! The few minutes of training she managed to squeeze in between her social activities mainly consisted of her updating errors in her hand-over notes as she showed me how to do things like sort and distribute the mail (strike one for her). It quickly became pretty clear that this role was more a receptionist role for the HR Department than a coordination role. Strike two for my agency. She then proceeded to tell me all about her new job. Here's where I got really angry.

You see, the agency who sent me for this role also put me up for a 6mth contract with another company. I was told that although they were very happy with me, I didn't get the position because they'd upgraded the position and taken someone with more experience (ie instead of a coordinator they hired an advisor). So you can imagine how shocked I was to hear the person training me tell me that this was where they were going. I was more shocked to discover that not only did she have less experience than me, she was being paid less than I had been told was on offer, had lied about the experience she did have, and was planning to move overseas in three months time. Strike three for the agency, and strikes two and three for her. This is only the first day, and already they're both out! Luckily she's leaving the pitch, but the agency is still out there swinging.

I won't bore you with what was an essentially drool-worthy (as in, in your sleep) day yesterday. The most interesting thing there is that I left work early for an interview with a local university. Cue today. This morning, I received a phone call from the uni's consultant to offer me the position, starting Monday. Since my consultant was coming to work today to organise the paperwork for my temp role, I decided to discuss it with them when they came in. I know it's a day short of the week's notice they'd asked, but I figure it won't be much of an issue. Apparently, I figured wrong.

My consultant (who bought her boss along for good measure) tells me I'll just have to call them and arrange to start after this assignment finishes, because my 2 week temporary contract includes a four-week notice period clause. I'm compelled to point out the fact that I haven't signed the contract yet, and in any case would have questioned that before I signed it, due to previous discussions. It is decided that they will speak to the HR Manager before the contract is signed to make sure it's ok for me to finish on Friday. My consultant then takes me aside and tells me that they've agreed I can finish today. Um, what? I thought we said Friday. But no, they say, have a break. I almost point out that I've had a break for 2 weeks before these oh-so-tiring three days of menial office work and that should get me through, but I just nod (the job's not really worth arguing for) and head back to my desk. One of the other HR girls says I can go home now if I like, but I shake my head and say no, I'll finish up what I've started today, tidy things up etc. I'm then told firmly that I should go home, because that was the HR Manager's decision. Again, um what? So, with all the dignity and the biggest smile I could muster, I pick up my bag, throw my things in it, shut my computer down and bounce out the door without looking back.

The uni's consultant called me not long after to confirm my start date, and let me know she was negotiating salary etc and would come to me soon with an offer. She almost fell off her chair when she heard the story, claiming she'd never heard such a thing as someone being terminated for being offered another job. I'd even told them that the start date hadn't been confirmed and I hadn't completely accepted yet (the start date would have been negotiable anyway). We both put this down to a severe overreaction.

After I filled out my timesheet for the week, I sent an email to my former consultant, expressing my disappointment. I have a certain knack for, as someone once put it, kicking in the nuts so innocently you wouldn't realise it's happened if it didn't hurt. As I like to think of it, cutting the flesh without appearing to slide in the knife, and leaving no real evidence it happened. Usually, this talent is reserved for resignation letters and people I don't like at work, but let's just say I made a couple of cuts in said email.

The events of this week caused two dilemmas for me, one of which was immediately cancelled out by the circumstances that caused the other. The first was, do I tell the agency that the person they've just placed is a liar who plans to skip out early on their contract, costing them money? This was cancelled out by the circumstances of being put out of work and having to struggle harder to make ends meet for the next few weeks - let them find out the hard way. I'm pretty sure their commission is more than half a week of my wages! :-) Revenge is sweet.

You call this security?

2008-04-16T14:16:00.006+10:00

The last couple of weeks, something strange and annoying has consistently happened to me. Every single time I walk through those security things they have out front of shops, the thing screeches. I have no idea why, but it's wearing thin. The embarrassment of having everyone in the store stop and look to see why their ears are being assaulted horrific. Now, I have no idea what in my bag is causing this, but I'm so close to standing at one of these gates and passing each individual item through it so that I can find the offending item and drop it off the nearest tall building. It really is getting too much, the staring, the covering my ears as I walk through, staff rushing to check my bag...

Wait a minute, hang on - actually, no-one has rushed to check my bag. That's strange - for two weeks I've been setting off alarms and not one store member has asked to check my bag. Let me think back to all the alarms I've been setting off.

Target - No. Actually, not one single staff member looked at me or even batted an eye.
Big W - Well, the door greeter looked at me, but didn't seem concerned.
Priceline - Other customers looked at me. The register operator glared at me as if reprimanding me for the noise I'd caused.
Chemist Warehouse - The register operator glanced at my bag and shrugged.
Several clothing shops - salespeople gave me a once-over and turned the other way.
Myer - No staff member in sight, and none appeared at the noise.
Coles - Operators on the express lane looked around and shook their heads at the noise.

Actually, I'm right - not one single bag check conducted in my two weeks of setting off alarms. What is going on? Fair enough, my bag is easily identifiable as a designer handbag (large metal logo) with an RRP in the region of $200, and I'm generally dressed pretty well - skinny jeans and a nice t-shirt at the least, lately. I'm clean, well-groomed and wearing shoes. Also, I'm not running, and appear rather peeved at the beeping. Is this appearance enough to override the usually telling screech of a security system? If so, I'm starting to wonder how exactly Winona Ryder was caught shoplifting, rather than how she managed to take so much. I mean, if no-one will ask to check the handbag of little old me, who would get up the nerve to ask a movie star? More to the point, has anyone told these places what an absolute waste of money their security system is? They could save heaps of money by having someone stand at the door and pull up all the scruffy, no-shoed people, and wave the pretty ones right by.

Funnily enough, this isn't the only time I've seen bad security practices. Anyone who lives in Brisbane knows that these days, you can't get off a train in the city around peak hour without passing security who check tickets. I've seen scruffy-looking people clearly holding tickets close to the security personnel be held up and have their ticket scrutinised, however I can be still trying to pull my ticket out of it's pocket in my bag and be waved through. Yes, when they haven't even seen a ticket. Then there are the days when I'm holding up my ticket, and while they're stopping everyone else, they just wave me on. I've actually traveled around for two days (unintentionally) on an expired ticket, simply by holding it up as I walk past. I was shocked when I realised that I hadn't gotten a new weekly ticket that week (I'd had that day off) and hadn't even been stopped once.

I'm sure many of you out there have experienced something like this, and I'd be really interested to hear about it. Leave a comment if you've got a 'security? what security?' moment you'd like to share.

EDIT: Update, after a few more weeks of setting off alarms, I discovered that it was something in my wallet causing the problem after it set off an alarm when I ducked into the chemist without the rest of my bag. I'm still unsure what it was in my wallet causing the problem, but the friendly register person swiped it over their magic magnetic security tag deactivator thingy, and I finally found some peace!

Workplace Bullying is not OK!

2008-04-14T11:24:00.003+10:00

Yes, I know - Long time, no write. I go giving you these job tips promising more, and then disappear, which is terrible! Where have I been?

Well, a couple of weeks ago, I quit my new job. Not because I had another job to go to or anything like that. Simply because I couldn't put up with being bullied by the other girls in the department anymore. So, for the past couple of weeks I've been holed up at home applying for new jobs, going for interviews etc. Today, I've finally pulled it together enough to take some time out and get back to my blog.

Now, the thing is, I'm not exactly the weak little person that runs off when things get difficult. I don't give up, I stay and fight. So how can I let things get to the point where I go out for lunch and refuse to come back? I was beating myself up about it for a little bit, but then I remembered that over the last 6 months, the company had no less than 4 people leave the position I was in. Suddenly, I feel much better - clearly, the problem wasn't me. In fact, I've now decided that the reason I only lasted 4 weeks was because not only do I have alot of respect for myself (and others) in the workplace, I also have a low tolerance threshold for the kind of behaviour I was dealing with, and I have very strict boundaries around how I will let others treat me. Let me give you the situation.

I was working in a 'team' with four other HR 'professionals' - an OHS Officer, two co-ordinators and a HR manager (who left shortly after I arrived). These coordinators are actually at my level, however given that the person previously filling my position took off in such a hurry (I now know why) and wasn't there to train me, the other two HR Coordinators took it up on themselves to train me. This would have been great if they didn't both have different ideas on how my job should be done. So, I suffered through three weeks of being told off every time one of them came to check my work, because I was doing it the way the other had showed me. Regardless of how many times I pointed this out, they never talked to each other and consistently made me the person to blame. In fact, I became the person to blame for any and all issues, even if it had nothing to do with me. With the departure of our manager, we were reporting to a Sydney manager, so eventually I contacted her to discuss my problems. At first, she was very concerned, saying she was going to help out, talk to these girls and get one set procedure for everything, so there could be no such similar issues in future - ie get a proper manual written up for my position. However, this then turned into me discussing these issues with the girls in question. As I had predicted, this made matters worse. I then suffered through them standing over my desk, taking out everything in my in-tray and interrogating me on why it hadn't been done, then berating me for it. Considering the improvements I had made since starting, and the huge backlog I'd reduced, the indignity of this treatment from my 'peers' was the last straw. I went out for lunch and never returned - I had the feeling that one more word from either of them was enough to make me reach out and slap them. Physical violence isn't really my thing, so I called to say I wasn't returning and that was it.

Of course, this is a brief overview of the situation and doesn't really cover half of what I suffered through in those four weeks. I had so much positive feedback on my work from other areas of the organisation that I find it hard to believe my work may actually have been at fault, and trust me I've examined this over and over for the last couple of weeks. I have to say, the fact that I still don't feel any regret about leaving even now, when it looks like I won't be able to pay rent next week, really says alot.

So, what's the point to this post? I really wanted to make this about the rising instances of workplace bullying and harassment, why it's occurring and how to stop it happening to you, as well as how to deal with it when it occurs in your workplace. But really, I'm totally stuck. I mean, why is it occurring? Who knows. What makes someone act so disrespectfully towards their colleagues? What possible excuse could there be for this kind of behaviour? How do you stop it happening? Before I would have said that workplaces should have policies and procedures in place, and that HR departments need to take on the responsibility of ensuring their workplace culture doesn't allow this sort of thing, but no-one cares about policies these days, and it's occurring within HR departments (who really should know better). As for how to deal with it, it should be reported to and dealt with by managers and the HR department, but look how far that got me. Looking back at the companies I've worked for, it's quite clear that managers don't really want to deal with this kind of issue and tend to sweep it under the carpet, or push responsibility back onto the victim (the same thing happens in our schools today).

This is something that greatly concerns me, and is something I intend to do more research into. I don't know yet how I'll go about it or where to start, but I can't let it rest. I'm not going to be one of those people who sweeps it under the rug, I'm going to stand up and be heard. This behaviour is not OK, and I don't care who hears me say it. Hands up who's with me!

Job-Hunting

2008-03-09T11:02:00.005+10:00

This week, I've been on 6 - yes, s-i-x 6 - job interviews. So, obviously this weekend I'm feeling a little frazzled. Add to those job interviews one job offer, one resignation and one last day at my old job, not to mention the normal anxiety of starting a new job on Monday, and it's easy to see why I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now.

My first two interviews were on Tuesday. Strangely enough, they ended up being for the same job. It seems the employer had contacted two agencies, both of whom had advertised on Seek, received my application, and wanted to put me through. They had listed different position titles though, so it was hard to recognise. Here I am, sitting in the second interview as he describes the company to me, wondering if I should say anything (as I'd signed a privacy statement with the first agency). I went on to meet with the employer on Wednesday, and funnily enough that was the job I've been offered. So there you have it - the easiest way to get a job is for two agencies to send your resume to an employer.

Probably my worst experience of the week was my interview on Thursday afternoon, my last interview for the week. I'd literally been offered the other position half an hour before-hand, and was somewhat interviewed out, but decided to attend the interview as it was very short notice to cancel by the time I remembered it. Also, it was for a permanent position where the job I've taken is a short-term contract, so I figured it couldn't hurt to have a shot.

The interview was at one o'clock, so I got there at 12:55. The office was empty. I don't mean there was no-one at reception, I walked out the back and there was no-one there either. Now this is a professional recruitment agency (apparently) and the role I'm applying for is their Candidate Manager, so my first thought is "Well, they certainly need one then" and my 2nd is "What the hell is going on?" Well, I figure that maybe everyone is out at lunch (although it's strange they'd all go at once, and leave the office open) so I sit down on one of the chairs and wait. As I look around, I start to wonder if I've walked into someone's office rather than reception. It doesn't really look like reception except for the leather couches, so I look around outside - nope, no other doors. So I wait some more. About 1.10, the phone rings, and I hear someone out the back answer it. Hm, ok so maybe there is someone here.

When I hear them hang up the phone, I head out the back and call out "Hello?" I hear a murmur of "Oh, god, someone's here" and a lady appears. I explain that I have an interview at 1, so she gives me a form to fill out and tells me the interviewer will be with me soon. I fill out this form and wait for another 10 minutes. By this time, it's 1.25 and I've been there for half an hour. Considering I'm skipping work to be here and could get in trouble if someone notices I'm not back from lunch, I figure it's time to get going. I call out the back, and the same lady comes out. I give her the form and tell her I've got to go back to work now. She looks quite taken aback, and insists I wait for another lady to come out. A couple of minutes later, an older, crabby looking lady comes out and berates me for not saying earlier that I only had half an hour. She then badgers me into coming back at 4.30 when I finish work.

To be honest, I'm absolutely stunned. At this point, I decide that although this place clearly needs someone to fix their candidate management, it definitely aint gonna be me. So as soon as I get back to work, I write an email which says that I've been offered another position and therefore won't be attending the interview set up earlier today. As expected, I received no response. I am so disgusted with the way they handled the situation, I'm almost tempted to name and shame them, but for the sake of the poor person who has to try to manage candidates among that horrible excuse for professional recruiters, I will refrain.

If you've had any bad experiences with interviews, please leave a comment and share them. I'm currently working on some interview tips which I'll post here shortly.
In the meantime, I hope you're laughing at this story, because I certainly am.
Cheers!

Holidays!

2008-02-29T12:20:00.000+10:00

Well, as I mentioned last time, I've been having a tough time at work, so I was extremely happy to have gotten this week off. Nothing planned, mind you, just a week to myself, which is sometimes what we really need! I've applied for about 40 jobs in the course of the week, so if you're reading, please cross your fingers and send some good intentions for a new job my way.

I must admit, I've not really done alot with my week off, apart from applying for jobs and cleaning. I did go to my pole-dancing class again this week, and am still feeling the pain. I'm having a serious think about actually using the yoga dvd and mat that's been sitting untouched in my cupboard for about 6 months, just so I can bend myself into a 'snowflake' and actually look delicate. I've been meaning to go riding all week too, but the only day I actually felt motivated, it rained all day! Normally I don't mind curling up and reading a book while it's raining, but considering I'd done that for the rest of the week while the sun was shining, I was a bit put out.

I've read about four books this week (including Pride & Prejudice, and the sequel) and have started to think about writing my own. I've actually been thinking about this for years, but have always thought I didn't have enough time or drive to finish one. But not long ago, I read a post on a forum from someone, who said that writing a book is basically like writing a blog - every so often, you add another chapter until you have a whole lot to put together. I thought that was brilliant, and was inspired. That is, until I remembered that I've started about 3 blogs that never went anywhere past a third post, before finally giving up on blogging about 2 years ago. So, I figured if I could keep this blog going for a good amount of time, I might just discover that I do have the discipline and time to sit down and write my first novel. Once I manage that, maybe I can afford to take time off and write more. Considering I've got about 6 books in my head already, I might be able to make a decent living as an authoress. Actually, I've already put together a book of poetry, but on discovering I would need an agent first, I decided not to pursue publication. Call me lazy. Maybe one of these days, I'll publish it myself online. Or maybe I'll start a poetry blog and put one poem on every week. Something to think about I suppose. And it would certainly help with bringing an end to my jobsearch... Come to think of it, I might just call an agent!

When I logged in today, I was going to write all about how I'm pampering myself this week by having manicure/pedicure/facial and a haircut, all in training salons, and how great they are. But nothing seems to end out like I planned when I get to writing stuff down. Maybe if I just sit down and start typing, something more interesting than what I planned could also turn itself into a book. Another thing to think about! If, by any chance, you would actually prefer to have heard about the beauty routines, let me know and I'll tell you next time! Until then, look after yourselves!

Pole Dancing!

2008-02-21T15:22:00.000+10:00

I know it's been a week since my last post, so let me explain my absence. I'm having a terrible time at work at the moment, and have been somewhat down and depressed. I sincerely doubt that anyone comes to read my blog, let alone any blog, to bring them down, so I decided to take a break until I could see the lighter side of life a bit better. In an attempt to break out of the depression, I decided to pick up some kind of physical activity, which is how, on Tuesday evening, I ended up wearing skimpy shorts and high-heels in the middle of Just Hooters.

I had been considering taking pole-dancing classes for some time, but was put off by the $40/class price tag at most schools and gyms. I'd also noticed that the instructors tended more towards athleticisim than sex appeal, and lately I've been thinking that I need to 'get my sexy back'. So, when I was walking past one lunchtime and saw the sign offering lessons for $10, on the door of a strip club, I couldn't resist. Who knows how to get sexy more than someone who's rent payments depend on it? So, Tuesday morning as we're on the train to work, my boyfriend peers into my bag and says "Why on earth are you taking your heels and gym shorts to work?"
"Oh, I thought I'd grab a pole dancing class tonight after work"
"Oh, ok then."

I feel blessed to have a boyfriend who trusts me and knows me well enough to not have to query the 'what/why/buts' of this declaration, although he was obviously concerned with the where and when. I actually think he was secretly pleased and entertaining visions of me twisting my way around the pole that would magically spring up in our loungeroom on the next special occassion.

I was the first person to come in for the class that evening, and was met with what seemed to be an empty club. The next people that walked in fired questions at me, and it turned out that they also were attending their first lesson (it later turned out that more than half the class was in the same boat). Obviously my new companions hadn't seen the inside of a strip club before. Both were looking at the poles with a mix of fear and wonder, and met one of the 'working girls' with the same air. The dancer chatted away happily about her new job, while my companions stared in awe. I, however, had been somewhat wild in my younger days and had many times seen the inside of strip clubs (in fact, I was strangely fascinated by them for quite some time - the intricacies of the dancing amazed me, withstanding the fact the executors were nude). It didn't take me long to get bored, so I ran off to get changed. By the time I'd returned our instructor was back, so we threw ourselves into the technicalities of looking sexy while dangling off a pole by (in my case) arms that were really too weak for the activity.

I did learn how to do several tricks, and apparently am a natural. I fully intend to go back next week, although my arms even now are protesting at the idea. For anyone considering this that hasn't yet done it, I say find a strip club and ask where their girls train, because not only is it great fun, it can massively improve your fitness and help you 'get your sexy back'. It's also a great way to make friends, not to mention the countless opportunities you'll have at laughing at the way you look in the mirror.

Valentines Day

2008-02-14T13:55:00.000+10:00

Hello again! By now it's pretty obvious that I'm not managing to post every day, as originally planned. There is a reason for this - I don't always have something to talk about every day, so rather than write a lot of nonsense for the sake of getting something posted, I've decided to take mercy on the readers of this blog and only post something when I have something to talk about. In the end, it makes for a much better blog. I think that perhaps if I want to do a 30-day challenge on blog posting, I should make sure my blog has a set topic that can always be added to, rather than relying on me having a witty observation to make every day... That is, one that is longer than 30 words and can actually be published without an 'Adults Only' sign at the top.

You will be happy to know that I have only a couple of times missed applying for one job every day, and only because I couldn't find anything I'd be happy to do that I hadn't applied for, which is the only excuse I'll allow myself (and for good reason). I've actually had one job interview, and another two lined up, so this is proving successful so far. Perhaps next time I am struggling to find material for a blog entry, I'll write some stuff down about interview tips, so if you're interested, stay tuned and/or post a comment to kick me into action.

Moving on..
For those of you who missed the memo, today is Valentine's day... yes, the day that single people everywhere dread, and men the world over feel their credit card shivering in their pocket. When we were discussing what to do for valentines day last month, my boyfriend mentioned that he thought it was unfair that women get the flowers and chocolates and dinner for the day, and men don't. So I asked if he really wants flowers and chocolates, and he says 'Yes'. Now, of course he's being silly, but he really should have known better! Last week, I asked him what he wanted, and he told me 'a straw shaped like a treble cleff'. My reaction was 'What?' But he even knows where to buy them. Yes, all he wants is a straw! So, yesterday I headed off to the indicated shop and picked up a $1.95 straw for my boyfriend for valentines day.

Now, some people may say that at least he's cheap, but I'm a modern woman, I believe in equality (unless it involves opening my own door - those things are heavy! *L*) and I don't feel quite satisfied with just giving my boyfriend a straw, even if it is ridiculously cool. I thought long and hard about what to get him. I considered things like a short-sleeved shirt (he only owns 1, and in a Brisbane summer, that's ludicrous), a watch, and all those traditional 'male' gifts. But nothing. Then, walking past the florist yesterday afternoon, I saw a bunch of valentines balloons, and struck inspiration.

Today, I went to meet him for lunch with a box of chocolates, a 'Love ya' balloon, and a small teddy holding a 'Be Mine' heart and a straw in the shape of a treble cleff. Because I couldn't resist, I picked up a single rose on the way. Like I said, he should have known better! Apparently the embarrassment has died down a little now, and the attention he's received at work has made him feel special just like I planned. Although I did take the rose back to work with me, as a man might get away with a balloon, but admitting you were given a rose might be a bit much to expect.

For the record, he bought me a rose bush for valentines, with 6 red roses already in flower. Not only is it a gift that keeps on giving, it reminds me of the rose garden mum used to have when I was in my teens. I said a couple of weeks ago that I wanted a rose garden when we got a house, so it really was quite a clever thing to think of. Rather than head out to an expensive (and packed out) restaurant for dinner, we've decided to pack a picnic and head up to a lookout just outside of the city, which we're pretty sure will be quite. We're going to throw in the dining setting from our camping gear and celebrate in style! It's much more our style than extravagance, in any case. After all, the point is celebrating and reminding each other how much you're in love, not how much you can spend.

Happy valentines to everyone!

Some insights

2008-02-08T22:12:00.001+10:00

I must admit, I don't have a lot of inspiration for today's post. After the day I had at work yesterday, I decided to take a 'mental health' day today, and spend have some me time. The bulk of my day has consisted of a mini-facial, shopping, and watching the movie Stardust, which my boyfriend would have consented to watch with me as long as he could fall asleep and not be forced to admit he liked it.

This evening, I met up with him after work to have drinks with his workmates, who apparently are sick of hearing about me and want to meet me. It was conveniently the birthday of one of them, so he decided it was the perfect time to show me off. I wasn't sure what to think of the 'you're quite pretty, actually' comments. Did they for some reason not think that I was pretty? Or do they think my boyfriend's not good looking enough to pull someone like me? More to the point, what kind of woman, upon meeting another woman, uses the phrase 'you're quite pretty actually'? Although obviously these were the kind of people who think outside the box, because by the time we left, I'd seem a demonstration of t-bagging given by a woman, and tits pressed against glass. Don't get me wrong, I've seen much worse behaviour than this at drunken parties, but this was a first seeing it at a work social club hosted friday drinks in the rec room on work premises. If I felt so inclined to demonstrate the interaction of a standing man's privates with the mouth of a woman on her back, or show how my tits look pressed against a window, I'd make certain that it wasn't in the presence of people I expected to respect and work with me on Monday morning. Maybe that's just me.

We left early anyway, in an effort to catch the last train home before our station was shut early tonight for trackwork over the weekend. Which we thought we had successfully managed, until we got to one stop before our station and were told that the train terminated there, despite previous announcements that the train would stop all stations to the end of the line. Queensland Rail ineptitude strikes again! It seems they had decided to start the trackwork earlier than expected, no doubt brought on by the sudden pelting rain that had started only half an hour before. They thoughtfully provided buses to deliver us to our destination, in only twice the time it would have taken for the whole trip on the train. They also apologised for the inconvenience, which obviously was heartfelt and gracefully accepted... By all but one woman, who was, it seemed, determined to argue with security until the train continued it's journey.

Now, I understand this woman's frustration, and I even gave vent to a few choice words on my way to the buses. But I still fail to see how sticking a flyer under the nose of someone not even technically employed by QR and yelling that the train must continue, because the station doesn't close until 8pm and she has a flyer to prove it, is actually going to do any good. Did she perhaps think that the security guard would suddenly see her point of view, and command the train to continue to all stops until 8pm (still half an hour away at this point)? Quite frankly, even if all of the passengers banded together and refused to leave the station any other way than that train I doubt it would have made any difference, let alone if one person did so. We'd probably all be sitting there tired, cold, hungry and wet until trains started running again at midnight on Sunday.

QR certainly don't seem to show much concern for the passengers they transport. It's more about the money, as recent issues with their new ticketing system (with 10-trip passes replacing weekly ones that are discounted) clearly proves. I personally think it's about time that they started being fined for cancelling trains - more when they don't even bother to announce it's not coming. And how about ticket refunds for late trains? In fact, I reckon something similar to the Customer Service Guarantees that apply to phone connections would go down well here. The later it is, the more you get back. Maybe I should do up a petition and send it to parliament, what do you think? If you've got an opinion, leave a comment and let me know. Meanwhile, I might pop back down to that train station with a sandwich. 8pm was a while ago, the protestors might be getting hungry!

Much love!

Hello and Welcome

2008-02-07T10:50:00.000+10:00

Hello to the entire one of you that will probably actually visit/read my blog! I've been thinking about starting a blog for a long time, and have in fact attempted one on myspace without success. I always felt like I had nothing to say that anyone who didn't know me would be interested in, but lately I'm starting to feel like I have more to say than I think. That, and work is so slow I'm bored out of my brain, and need something to do!

I've spent a lot of time lately reading the forums at http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums, and have found some really great inspirational tips, talks about bloggers etc. One of the things that keeps popping up is the 30-day challenge/trial. My understanding of it is that if you want to make a change for the better, rather than commit to the overwhelming goal of changing forever, you 'trial' the change for 30 days, and then decide wether you want to keep going with it (at which point you're already off to a good start and it's easy to commit longer term) or you decide you're better off without the change, and go back to how things were (for more info, see the forums via the above link). Anyway, I thought about this for a while, and decided that I should do a 30 day challenge. Deciding what should be my challenge was a different matter. The idea is that the challenge should bring you closer to living a life you love, and mostly I'm pretty happy with my life. I mean, I don't want to be where I am forever, but where I am is pretty good for right now. I'm making progress towards my future, and I'm pretty happy with that progress too. I have plans, they won't work the way I want them too but they'll work in a way that is better than my original idea and I'll be happy. I know from experience that this is the way my life works, and I'm happy with it - I like to think of it as my higher self at work, gently pulling the strings and setting up a suprise for me.

In the end, I decided on two things - firstly, I'm going to apply for at least one new job every day. My job totally sucks, and being bored and harrassed constantly isn't exactly helpful on the path to happiness. The second - to write one blog post every day. This helps alleviate the boredom, and lets me say the things I have to say.

So, I bet now you're all wondering 'What is it that made today the day you start blogging? What is it you have to say today?" The answer is simple. Mock cream. Yes, that fake cream that they use in cream buns they sell in supermarkets, bakeries and school cafeterias the world over. Today for morning tea, I felt like something a little sweet so headed to the bakery where I decided on a cream bun. The sales assistant asked me if I wanted mock cream or real cream. This got me thinking - what did they put in mock cream that made it better than real cream? Curiosity got the better of me (like it often does, especially when I'm bored) and when I got back to work, I googled 'mock cream recipe'.

Apparently, mock cream is mostly made of creamed butter and a bucketfull of sugar, with some variations including vanilla essence or similar flavouring. What? For those of you that don't understand my shock, think about this - isn't butter what you get if you overbeat your cream and it separates? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that butter is the fattiest part of the cream, separated and made solid for spreading on toast. I'm pretty sure most bakeries already add sugar or vanilla to their cream to sweeten it a little anyway (well, I would...) So basically, mock cream is fattier, sugarier real cream. Apparently it lasts longer, but do I really care about that if I'm eating it? Just one of those things that doesn't make sense I suppose. I should point out at this point that there is some mock cream made with the absence of butter, you just have to search far and wide for the recipe.

Well, post one on day one, 29 left to go. So far so good! Please call back again soon for more of my strange inner dialogues and wry observations. Let me know if you enjoyed this post or otherwise by leaving a comment. Thanks for dropping by.

(PS: For those people who are somewhat like myself and therefore are thinking "But did she choose the mock cream, or the real cream?", I chose the real cream. If in doubt, always go authentic!)